The cushion
(Hum the Hitchcock theme song to yourself)
It was a cloudy and cold day. The ever changing weather had driven Punky to her couch to blog. She had been cooking and needed to update her readers on what she had been eating in the last few days. Her vicious attack dog slept at her side. No one would know that a horrible butchering was taking place.
Punky was focused on sharing the horrors that were her Martha Stewart recipes when she had the feeling that something wasn't quite right. But maybe it was those boring recipes for tilapia and Spicy (not) black beans that were causing her distress. As you can see it even looked a little scary.
As Punky is not an overly paranoid person she kept blogging. She was preparing to rave about the movie night her and Funkbobito had. They had a real treat of a dinner with wine cheese, sausages and fruit. Nothing like munchies for dinner. But her unease arose again, but she just simply blamed it on the atrocity of a film that The Brothers Grimm really was.
She returned to her blogging hoping to actually get something posted. And after a vegetarian meal that was to die for, she thought this would be the day. Roasted veggies and home alone beans were a hit, even with Funkbobito (who believes a meal really should have meat). But something was still not quite right.
So Punky let her vicious attack dog outside to do her business. When she returned something was not quite right. 
So Punky went outside to check out what was going on. It was then that she saw the carnage, the horror, the cushion...
Her blood curdling scream was only in her head, but the fountain of expletives that spewed from here lips was definetly audible. She wondered what would lead to such a violent act on a mere six month old cushion. What had it done to deserve this? She thought of all the logical explanations (Kraft sends warning to stop referring to their products, the Foodies mob is placing a hit on her for the large use of convenience foods, Columbian drug lords hid their stash in her Pier One cushion before it shipped out and they have been searching for it for the last 6 months, etc). There was always the improbable chance that it was a squirrel trying to build a nest. But she decided it was really a curse from the Blogger gods for not keeping her blog updated. The terror of further hostility towards her outdoor furniture has led her to post and she has taken this warning to heart.
